Posted by: undularbore | November 10, 2010

To Puke or Not to Puke

This weekend our pitiful “scene” crowd will have Jucifer to watch and oogle over. It’ll be the best worst thing (for me) to do this weekend. Puke. Jucifer only brings back horrid memories of that stupid relationship with The Idiot and his first ex, lil’ miss meddler.

The Idiot and I had a text message run in yesterday. He texted me to let me know about some duplexes being demolished near my house. The only reason why he is on my side of town is because he’s over at his new girl’s house. Basically he left her house yesterday and text’d his ex girlfriend to let her know about some buildings being torn down…what the fuck? Why the fuck?! I then took this opportunity to explain to him that he should respect his relationship to his new girl and not communicate with me. I also told him I know how it feels to have a boyfriend still talking to his ex. He just gave a “Ha!”. Idiot thinks it’s funny.

In his delusional world he didn’t talk to Demonica while we were together. Fucking false. As they were communicating via text messages last fall while he and I were seeing each other. I read his text messages with her, yes I knew his code and read them just so I could be educated. There were texts about getting together and how Demonica’s girls missed him and something about Motor Supply. Oh and the texts about how she cheated on Idiot again during their brief dating encounter of 2009, that’s FUNNY! Real FUNNY.  She was very apologetic though. But in his text to me yesterday he talked to her for three weeks, only. BULLSHIT FUCKER!! YOU ARE DELUSIONAL!

He put the blame on me for us texting yesterday, since I IM’d him this past Sunday. What did I IM to him? “Are you awake” It was 8:30 in the morning and he was on chat so I IM’d him to ask if he was awake. Idiot used to never be awake at that hour when we were dating and I was curious. I then reminded Delusional Idiot of the text he sent me out of the blue when I was at the cemetery for the Haunted Tour. His text went something like “cool pic of you and your dad. Great to see you active and smiling!”. I still would like to know why he texted me that out of the blue? This is just more proof that the man is delusional.

That’s why I broke up with him (finally) and that’s why I get angry with myself for keeping myself immersed in that crap for four years! I doubt I will hear from him again any time soon.

I also referred to his new relationship as a rebounder…which it is. I think back to when we first got together and it took him almost 6 months to stay at my house with any regularity. Memories of: 1) we were dating for about 4 or 5 months and on one of his Mondays off he goes out of town to see a band and didn’t even tell me   2) how it took him 7 months to introduce me to his mom  3) his DUI which means I got to do all the driving, if I wanted to see him I had to get in the car. Did he ever make any effort to catch rides to my house? I think I can count those times on one hand. He was a slow mover with me and even explained that that’s just the way he is.

This is certainly not the case with the new girl = REBOUND. Some rebounds work really good for people and perhaps that will be case for these two new love birds.

People on the “outside” who only know Idiot from the “outside” have no idea what a clusterfuck of a mentality he has. How delusional (he says he doesn’t lie, another false statement from delusional land) he is and how very difficult it is for me deal with him.

It’s sad…I correlate just about the whole Scenester Scene with him. This was never my scene, even 20 years ago. I’ve never felt myself in this janky fucking town – like I’m part of the outer circle. Well that’s fine cause I don’t want to be apart of this scene, especially now. Yes, there were some fun times and I continue to have fun with my close friends from time to time – but i happy to feel like an outcast here, to feel like people are always talking behind my back, to feel like my reputation precedes me in most places I go. And that’s great – cause I don’t want to be associated with the stooopid crap anyway. So thanks ColumbiYuck, thanks for not making me feel accepted or a part of this place – because who in the right mind would want to? Unless there is nothing else.

And for that reason alone (nothing else) I will always keep my dreams alive. Dreams of moving away and being apart of somewhere else where I feel connected, whole and mentally at-ease.

So on that note, Fuck You Joe, fuck your pathetic life that is the same as 20 years ago, fuck your delusional world, fuck your problems, hell – go fuck your one-balled self with your pathetic ejaculations. There I said it. 🙂


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